Most people see supermarket shopping as a painful chore.
As a little girl, I thought of the supermarket as a great and wonderful adventure and that has followed me into adulthood.
Something almost always happens. From someone calling me ugly, (who obviously was losing her vision, poor thing) to the old man who got my biggest smile along with the finger for being a douchebag in the car park.
Good things happen too, I think.
I've made friends at my local supermarket, had lengthly debates about what type seasoning to buy and discovered things about myself that I didn't even know. (Notably an unfortunate avocado incident. Who knew I was allergic??)
Despite it all, I love the supermarket.
But I really should keep away. Besides the fact that I leave about a quarter of my salary there every month, the supermarket has become a problem.
They have started selling the most delicious doughnuts in the entire world...
There is even one stuffed with guava jam.
Take a backseat strawberry jam. You are NOT worthy.
I usually eat pretty healthy food. I've managed to cut out meat. I drink water every day. I rarely eat sweets.
But I couldn't seem to walk past the bread aisle without looking at them. I was doughnut stalking. So after a pretty rough week and a hip bursitis (I swear I'm in my 30s), I gave in and picked one up.
Yes. There I was in the supermarket, with a shopping cart that contained a doughnut and broccoli.
Then into the aisle walked a black Adonis.
You know, muscles in all the right places (this man did not skip leg day), a beard that Zeus would die to have and a backside like two salt breads. Yes, Lord, I may not be single right now but unlike the woman who called me ugly, I am not blind. Amen!
Anyhoo, I was shaken out of my reverie when I noticed the look of disdain on his face. After making sure I wasn't drooling, I realised he was looking into my cart.
At my doughnut.
He then looked up at me and I heard the mental "Tsk Tsk" he sent my way. It was then I saw the large bag of bananas and spinach he held in his hands, (probably to make smoothies to feed that salt bread butt).
I wanted to scream. I eat spinach too!!! (Not bananas though, yuck!) I am healthy! I've got broccoli! This isn't my doughnut.
Instead, I did what any self-respecting person who usually eats healthy would do... I took an extra large bag of muesili and threw it on top of the doughnut and stood there with a very awkward smile on my face.
He just turned and walked away. I swore I saw him shake his head.
I felt terrible.
I did a couple more rounds through the supermarket, then made my way back over to the bakery aisle and put that doughnut RIGHT BACK.
And then took up a pack of two.
After all, with all that guilt, a single doughnut wasn't going to cut it...